1. New Found Passion
    31 Jan, 2017
    New Found Passion
    I was going to a therapist's and I showed her my abstract art. She was so impressed with my work that she recommended I take a art class.I would go in the basement and play hard music and dress in a dirty dress, I would paint in the basement and he would just come and watch me. He would say how he doesn’t understand how I can just paint like that. I would just finish a painting in a few hours and it would look really amazing. I remember finishing one and being too excited  to wait for it to dry.
  2. My Second Dad
    31 Jan, 2017
    My Second Dad
    I went to salem oregon when i was 14 years old. It was the first trip i had ever gone on and i was real excited about it. I went with my friend who was a few years older than i was. We went to the oregon coast and hiked up the mountains. There were plenty of people that welcomed us into their home and i was always running around with the kids and playing. We wanted to stay there longer but didn’t have the money so we did a carwash to raise funds for us to stay there. We made over 300 dollars on
  3. Childhood Memories
    30 Jan, 2017
    Childhood Memories
    We lost our cat so we go down the street singing meme come back to me. The cat got stuck up the chimney trying to catch a mouse. Once there was a skunk that died and it we had to take a bath in tomato juice. Our neighbor wanted to fight my brother so we all went to the window and watched as they rolled on the floor and fought each other. We had a crush on the boy riding around the neighborhood on his motorbike. The girls down the street would play double dutch together and they didn't like us.
  4. Living on the edge
    04 Feb, 2017
    Living on the edge
    I was also doing hydrotherapy for cleaning my colon out. I went for acupuncture as well. I was trying everything to beat the cancer. My mind was set and I was determined to live no matter what the cost. I remember falling down in my room and yelling for dubravko to help me. He then realized how bad off I was. It really shocked him to see me like that. It softened his heart toward me and he took on the role of caretaker. He would give me showers and cut my toenails for me. Many times I would fall
  5. Coping With My New Body
    04 Feb, 2017
    Coping With My New Body
    My ex came back to get me from my parents house. He let me move back in with him and the kids. I was not able to take care of myself at all. I was wearing diapers and could not dress myself. All my clothes no longer fit me. I had gained too much weight. It was real hard to look at how much I had changed in my body. I would go and work with my trainer and try to keep myself up to par. My mom was the real warrior, she would bring me green drinks every single morning. I would drink one 8 ounce of
  6. The Garden
    04 Feb, 2017
    The Garden
    My neighbor had her garden featured in a magazine. She was constantly outside tending to her garden. She had at least 800 different kinds of flowers in her yard. It was really incredible to see. I began to be inspired myself and started to buy flowers. They always ended up dying and once my husband actually sprayed the garden with pesticides and killed the plants.
  7. Seperation anxiety
    04 Feb, 2017
    Seperation anxiety
    I felt really happy to even see my sister get married at all.This took some convincing because I watched my friend go through it and she died really quickly. I met a doctor who promised me that she would be there for me every step of the way if I needed any help at all. I decided to give it a try and the radiation treatments took my hair out. I was bald on one side of my head. It was pretty hard to look at. I don’t ever recall shedding any tears during those difficult times. Once I was getting
  8. Living With The new Me
    04 Feb, 2017
    Living With The new Me
    I kept my spirits up and just pushed through the treatments although at one point i told my dad i wanted to stop doing them. He told me that he noticed a positive change in me and that i should keep doing it. I agreed to keep trying until i did finish the treatments. I quickly realized that i was doing much much better. My sister was getting married and she wanted us to be in her wedding. I got my dress and had to get it fitted and measured so it wouldn't drag on the ground. I was really nervous
  9. Recovery continues
    04 Feb, 2017
    Recovery continues
    She measured my head and told me to come back the following week to start treatments. They would last 6 weeks and i would get to go home after 30 minutes of radiation every morning. I began to get more comfortable with my decision and i went home and began to think about it. After the 5th week, my hair began to fall out in clumps, i didn't want to take it out even tho it was hanging by a few threads. My mom encouraged me to just take it out so i did. I had a bald spot on my head from the place
  10. Recovery
    04 Feb, 2017
    I was able to run up and down stairs but that went away gradually. They put me on a medication that made me completely unable to hold a conversation with people. It was like I was living in slow motion. People would talk to me but I was always a few minutes behind in my speech and movement and thought. It was pretty bad.i began getting a monthly shot to help with my mood disorder. I got better really fast. I tried to convince my husband to cancel the divorce but he refused to. He had enough and
  11. Trying To get back to normal
    04 Feb, 2017
    Trying To get back to normal
    I accused him of outing a chip inside of my head and causing me to have seizures. After that happened, he kicked me out of the house to go live with my parents. I moved back home with them and not long after, he began sending bills to my house. Then he filed for divorce. I had just had brain surgery and was having seizures. I became incapacitated and had to get a guardian. The divorce was settled between a mediator. He got the kids on the weekdays and I got them during the weekend. So it was
  12. Livening Things Up
    04 Feb, 2017
    Livening Things Up
    We were very sexual people. We would have sex three to four times in a day. Especially if there was nothing else to do. I was always thinking of something new and exciting for us to try out. I would surprise him and do things in the most public places. I loved adventure and being spontaneous. I thrived in excitement and I loved to live on the edge. We would always take showers together and wash each others back. He always asked me to do that for him. I would shave his back for him many times. He
  13. Trying to cope
    04 Feb, 2017
    Trying to cope
    Many times, I would go to comedy houses all alone and he would just stay home with kids. I got so desperate one time that I bought hotel room and asked for them to put roses on the bed for us. I felt like my marriage was on the breaking point. He didn’t even acknowledge them when we entered the room. I planned the get away and asked my parents to watch my kids. We ended up staying for one night and as usual he said he had to leave because he had to go back to work.  It was exhausting living with
  14. Another Woman?
    04 Feb, 2017
    Another Woman?
    I began calling him at work and I would hear high heels pacing back and forth on the floor. I had a bad feeling inside of my stomach. I began to make plans for myself just in case things didn’t work out. I began to pursue my master's degree. At least I could get myself a good education while this situation was going on. I began to listen to music and try not to stay inside of the house all of the time. I would take my daughter down the street for walks in the park. She really loved it and we
  15. My Suspicions
    04 Feb, 2017
    My Suspicions
    One day, I noticed dubravko would always be reading a Serbian website. I didn't quite understand it but he would get magazines sent to the house without any address on it. I was constantly surrounded with questions and unknowns. It was driving me mad. I didn’t know a thing about him at all. He would shred his paperwork. He had hidden bank accounts and was really into voip and vonage. It was like living in a mystery box. I was living with a person from another country who didn’t speak my
  16. More Stuff Happening
    04 Feb, 2017
    More Stuff Happening
    We began going to dbsa meetings for mental illness. My husband was trying to deal with me having issues and learn more about it. There were quite a few people involved with them. I got to see just how close this issue is and how it affects people of all backgrounds and cultures. We continued to go to the meetings but I never wanted to get on any medications. I was always anti- medication. I was into holistic treatments. I was having outburst of anger quite a bit. I would get angry at my husband
  17. Trials
    31 Jan, 2017
    I was going to neurologists and doctors constantly. I had a seizure when I was 8 months pregnant with my son. I was at the sink skinning chicken, when I felt it coming on. I went to the living room where my daughter was sitting in her high chair and looked at her from behind. I fell to the ground and began to seize. I was all alone. I woke up shaking. I looked in the mirror and my entire upper lip was completely skinned off and red. I had a lock jaw so I had to go to the dentist so they could
  18. The emotionless marriage
    31 Jan, 2017
    The emotionless marriage
    I would go to my sister’s house and talk about my problems and she would always say that my husband loved me. i got so upset that I took my credit card and bought tickets to a coldplay concert. I got dressed up really nice and went to my sisters place. I was so upset and distraught at the way my life was going. I ended up getting really really drunk and dancing and singing at the top of my lungs. My health was falling apart, I could barely take care of my kids and my husband was emotionally
  19. More Money More Problems
    31 Jan, 2017
    More Money More Problems
    I loved to spend money on clothes. I would just grab so much stuff and pay 500.00 for irt. I couldn’t make up my mind what to buy so I would just buy everything. It was like my comprehension was not intact. I would take money and once I got so frustrated that we weren’t saving money that I took 6k dollars from account and put it into a bank cd. My husband got so mad that he blocked me from our bank account. I was so upset. I went to the bank to find out what was going on. They looked at his
  20. Another Typical Episode
    31 Jan, 2017
    Another Typical Episode
    I accused my husband of cheating on me.when I was on the phone with one of my sisters.he came downstairs and looked at me real sternly. He told me he had enough of me. Later that evening, I was fixing food for my family, I went into the fridge and I blacked out, I woke up on the kitchen floor with music playing. I asked my husband what happened and he told me I had a seizure. I began being more paranoid and thinking people were trying to poison me and kill me or trying to harm me. Someone made